Ode to a Crescent Roll

Alhough you are flaky
and somewhat delicious
there is something irksome about your
vaguely petrochemical taste
and indeterminate origin
from a dough perspective, at least.

How DO you keep for three months?

I have always felt, deep inside
that I could make a better dinner roll than you
with my own hands, but
your genuine ease of preparation
and sixteen-to-nineteen minute baking time
has made it difficult for me to justify supplanting you
with a creation of my own concoction.

I mean, people seem to like you, as well.

Still, the folks at Pillsbury want me to think all this
and I feel as though contributing to the sales figures
of refrigerated bake-at-home dinner rolls
will make some executives happy
though it gives me little joy
that I cannot best you with homemade dough.

It gives me a sense of despair
that you have given rise to these feelings
yet I am willing to forgive
as I place butter on your backside
bite, chew thoroughly, swallow
and repeat until all your loafmates are gone.