Las Vegas On $5 A Day

...would probably be one sucky trip. But Tara and I have just set up a quick December vacation, as we have only been out of town a couple times this year, to good old Vegas. This time we're staying at The Riviera; it's my eighth trip to a Vegas hotel in the last 13 years, and for some reason I've never stayed in the same place twice.

I first went in November '93, on a business trip to do a song-and-dance about our company's time and billing software at a big trade show. Stayed at the Barbary Coast. Shared a room with mensch Pete Blum (hi Pete--bet you'll NEVER read this!); this was obviously before the tech boom. Had some fun with Tracey (hi Tracey--bet YOU'LL never read this either) and Julie (hi Jul--aw, you get the point) and some other folks who, thinking about it now, were really good friends whom I miss more than I thought I would by now. The Barbary Coast was a total hole, by the way. Even back then.

Went back in December '96, alone, and stayed downtown at the Golden Nugget. Back again in '98, also alone, at the Excalibur. Again in October 2000, to meet Paul (the kicked-out-of-Middleton guy I talked about in the countertop post a couple days ago) and Seanie "Bugbite" Ennis for a boy's weekend. We stayed at the now-long-gone Boardwalk, all 3 of us in one room. We all smoked at the time. Must have smelled like the bottom of a sumo wrestler's laundry basket in that room by the time we left.

First time with Tara in April '01, at Caesar's Palace. Big hot tub in the room...bow chicka chicka bow wow. Ahem. Then in '02 with her and her brother Dru at the Frontier. TRULY the grubbiest digs in town. And the staff had their ass-sticks firmly in place for that trip. And finally, October '03 found us at the Venetian during our big West Coast roadtrip. The night before that we had stayed in the bustling metropolis of Tonopah, Nevada. Wonderfully lame little place, which made it all the more run-down Old West charming. Makes North Adams seem like Amsterdam in comparison.

So given all that experience, here are my top things to do in Vegas:

• For gambling, I like the 25-cent multi-game video machines that play blackjack. I have good luck at them, and they'll come by with the free drinks. Play a buck a hand and you can sit there gambling for real money for two, three hours at a time. Beats having to play at a $15 table next to a creepy Japanese grandmother with switchblade fingernails and a permanent scowl.
  
  
• Eat. Goes without saying. The In-and-Out Burger is a seldom-visited treat. Gone, though, are the days they used to give away food to get you into the casino. Still may be some places downtown, but on the Strip, they can get away without the low-cost steam table leftovers.
  
  
• The Star Trek Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton. Seriously, this is worth the cab ride, and Quark's Bar is a fun place to meet for a drink.
  
  
• The Sports Book. Believe it or not, a futures ticket is a great present for the sports fan on your list. Get your brother-in-law a $25 ticket for the Patriots to win the '07 Super Bowl. If they lose, eh, it's a cute memento; but if they do win, how much cooler would that make it? I'll tell you: $200 cooler! Especially if he actually IS a Patriots fan!
  
  
• Tara loves the roller coaster at New York, New York. It is kinda cool, but take a lesson from The Cool Kid here and take some Dramamine first, or you'll give a whole new meaning to visiting Ralph out in Coney Island.

So let me know if you'll be out there at the same time...we'll meet up at Quark's Bar and shoot some craps. It'll be fun!