Tuesday, November 13, 2007

March of the Meatballs

Maybe this should have been "November of the Meatballs", but that loses a little bit of critical alliteration.

Yes, never put it past me to use my teeny-weeny virtual soapbox to hump an event near and dear to the heart of pretty much all of us here in the Steeple City: The 2007 Annual North Adams Rotary Club All You Can Eat Spaghetti Supper. It is back upon us, y'all, and it is this coming Thursday night, November 15th, 2007. Head on over to the American Legion (not St. Anthony's, like last year) on American Legion Drive. Bring six bucks for dinner tickets--five if you want to feed a young'un--and a fistful of cashola for the AWESOME Chinese Auction and raffle items we have going on.

We start at 4 and go to 7, and for your hard-earned lucre you get yourself as many plates full of freshly-boiled pasta and HOMEMADE meatballs--that's right, lovingly hand produced by folks who take the time to disdain the bagged, frozen, perfectly spherical meat-lumps that are so frequently bounced steaming onto your charitable event plate--that you can stuff yourself with, along with all-vegetarian lettuce-based salad, and bread, and a soft drink.

This being the Legion, you also have yourself the option of turning on the drinking lamp. Beats church, by a mile.

And the pies, folks, the strawberry pies. This is nine inches worth of fresh strawberries, proprietary 100% red glaze, and cream that has been whipped to within an inch of its life. It's the legendary DiLego family recipe that, like the hot dogs from Jack's, means you have actually tasted North Adams, Massachusetts. These go fast, kids. You can buy a whole pie--about twenty-eight and a quarter inches of bliss, measured circumferentially--for fifteen bucks. Just get in touch with me to pre-order before you miss out. Or, for a measly three bucks you can get a slice right then and there.

We are not responsible for public berrygasms.

And we are of course presenting, for your charitable auction enjoyment, a fabulous selection of local merchandise and gift certificates that really puts the shame screws to the other such events in town. Who's on our table? Let's see: Gift certificates from Molly's Bakery, Jack's Hot Dogs, Village Pizza, Cafe Latino, Red Sauce, Cup and Saucer, and more....merchandise from Carpinello's Service Station, Passion Parties by Tara, Tangiers, Bark 'n Cat, Persnickety Toys, Tropical Gardens, Dragonflii, Cheshire Auctions, and also more. You just have to come and see all this stuff, because there'll be lots more by the time you show up.

Can't stick around for a sit-down? Why, no matter! Get your friends together and give us a call and we'll get yer orders together to go. Get ENOUGH friends and we'll deliver 'em over to you ourselves!

Rub elbows with the local Rotarians, cognoscenti, illuminati, and a shaker or two of parmesan cheese. The proceeds for this will stay mostly here in our community, helping local schools and charitable organizations do their thang: sponsoring our champion Little League team, for instance, or setting up the autism resource library at BFair, or giving a holiday party featuring toys and winter coats for kids who need 'em but may not get 'em otherwise.

So you basically have no excuse. See you Thursday. Come hungry. Don't wear a white shirt or a tie you'd be upset to get sauce on. I'll be in the kitchen wearin my chef whites servin' up the goods, and Tara will be happy to sell you auction and raffle tickets. You can't lose, any way you look at it, can you?